5 Keys For Successfully Resolving Personal Relationship Conflicts.

5 Keys For Successfully Resolving Personal Relationship Conflicts.

By:
Bill and Teddy Rogers

All
of us have had or, if we live long enough, will have conflicts in our
personal relationships. How we handle and resolve these conflicts is
very important.


James
1:19 (NIV)
says My
dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be
quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Here
are the 5 keys needed to successfully resolve most of your conflicts.

KEY
# 1: BE QUICK TO LISTEN

When
we listen, we encourage the other person to talk. Listening
also helps us to understand the other person and where they are
coming from.

Many
of us do not really listen like we should because we are defensive,
we assume we already know what they are going to say next, or we’re
thinking about what we’re going to say back to them.

During
A Conflict, Here Is What You Should Do:

  • Listen
    not merely with your ears, but observe and listen with your eyes;
  • Focus
    on what the other person is saying, not what you are thinking;
  • Consider
    the meaning behind the words without jumping to conclusions.
Note:
If you are not sure what you think they said, replay their
statement back to them.
KEY
# 2: BE SLOW TO SPEAK

God
gave us two ears and one mouth. This may mean that we are to listen
more and speak a whole lot less.

Here
Are 4 Scriptures That Tell Us To Limit What We Say During A Conflict.


Proverbs
10:19 (NIV)
says Sin
is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their
tongues.”


Proverbs
17:27 (NIV)
says The
one who has knowledge uses words with restraint, and whoever has
understanding is even-tempered.”


Proverbs
21:23 (NIV)
says Those
who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from
calamity.”

Ecclesiastes
5:3 (NIV)
says A
dream comes when there are many cares, and many words mark the speech
of a fool.”

KEY
# 3: BE SLOW TO BECOME ANGRY

Ecclesiastes
7:9 (NIV)
says Do
not be quickly provoked in your spirit, for anger resides in the lap
of fools.”


Proverbs
16:32 (NIV)
says Better
a patient person than a warrior, one with self-control than one who
takes a city.”


Ephesians
4:26 (NIV)
says
“’In
your anger do not sin’: Do not let the sun go down while you are
still angry.”


Proverbs
29:22 (NIV)
says An
angry person stirs up conflict, and a hot-tempered person commits
many sins.”

Remember:
Words spoken in anger are very difficult if not impossible to
retract. Keep your words soft and sweet, you may have to eat them!

KEY
# 4: BE LOVING AND KIND

1
Corinthians 13:4-7 (NIV)
says Love
is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is
not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it
is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not
delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects,
always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.”

You
will never resolve any conflict by playing destructive games.

Never
Do The Following:

  • Blame
    the other person;
  • Think
    you know everything about the other person;
  • Insist
    that every detail be correct;
  • Rule
    by force – verbal or physical;
  • Compare
    the other person to someone else;
  • Act
    superior or “holier than thou”;
  • Bring
    up past conflicts that have nothing do do with the current conflict.

KEY
# 5: ATTEMPT TO SET THE STAGE
BEFORE
YOUR CONFLICT

  • Never
    have your conflict before eating a meal, going to church or a social
    event;
  • Never
    have your conflict when you or the other person are angry;
  • Have
    it in the right place when only the participants are involved (
    never in front of children );
  • Stay
    in control of your tone of voice.

Obviously,
there are exceptions to all of the above, but if you use these 5 Keys
and use them wisely, you should be able to successfully resolve most
of your conflicts.

End
Of Post

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God Bless.

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