Psalm 26:2 (NASB) says “Examine me, O Lord, and try me; Test my mind and my heart.”
BEFORE TAKING THIS QUICK TEST,
PLEASE HEED THESE TWO WARNINGS:
1. We encourage you to share this test with your spouse. But, if you are currently having tensions in your marriage, don’t take this test together or discuss your conclusions except in the presence of a wise Christian pastor or marriage counselor.
2. As you reply, concentrate on yourself, not on your spouse.
IF YOU TRULY DESIRE A SUCCESSFUL MARRIAGE,
ASK YOURSELF THE FOLLOWING QUESTIONS:
1. Are you patient with your spouse (when he/she is doing something they really enjoy like shopping or playing golf, etc,)?
2. Are you kind to him/her with your tongue? (Or do you put him/her down face to face or behind their back?)
3. Are you jealous or envious of your spouse? (Is there any freedom or success of his/hers that you resent?)
4. Are you “boastful” (loud-mouthed)? (Do you shout angrily at your spouse when you are frustrated?)
5. Are you proud (vain)? (Do you feel that the world should revolve around you?)
6. Are you haughty, selfish or rude? (Blunt words often have the sharpest edges. Do you cut your spouse off in mid sentence to fire back a blunt word or unkind statement? Do you constantly interrupt him/her? Do you ever tell him/ her to shut up or swear at them?)
7. Do you always demand your own way? (Is your idea of marriage a master-slave relationship? Or a parent-child relationship, where your spouse ought to do everything for you?)
8. Are you irritable or touchy? (How do you speak to your spouse when he/she interrupts your point of concentration? Do you lose your temper, or do you give him/her the attention they need? How much of your body language shows him/her your disapproval of lack of love?)
9. Do you refuse to forgive your spouse when he/she sins against you (commits adultery, etc.)? Matthew 6:14-15 (NASB) says “For if you forgive others for their transgressions, your heavenly Father will also forgive you. But if you do not forgive others, then your Father will not forgive your transgressions.”
10. Are you ever glad (secretly or otherwise) when your spouse is treated unfairly? (Are you ever happy at the thought of your spouse having an unpleasant experience that “serves him/her right”?)
11. Are you glad when truth wins out? (Do you accept the fact that he/she might be right about some things, and you might be wrong? How do you feel when that happens?
12. Are you loyal to your spouse? (Do you flirt with others or pay any attention to their flirting with you? Are you allowing any other human or things to shove your spouse into second place?)
13. Do you always trust your spouse and believe he/she will do the right thing? If “No”, you need to have a serious discussion and establish some rules.
14. Do you always stand your ground in defense of your spouse? (Do you quickly order your children, regardless of their age, to apologize if they are rude to your spouse? Do you ever let anyone talk negatively about your spouse without defending him/her?)
DANGER – ROUGH ROAD AHEAD!
15. Do you discuss your anger toward your spouse or details of your intimate relationship with your spouse with others (parents, siblings, girlfriend, buddies, etc.)? If you are doing this, stop it now!
Why? Because you and your spouse may have had a heated argument or fight and have made up but, because you told these others, they will still be angry at your spouse and may continue to make negative statements about him/her. Then, you’ll become angry with them every time they say something negative about your spouse.
Your anger with your spouse or details of your intimate relationship should only be discussed with your spouse, God, or a wise Christian pastor or marriage counselor, if necessary.
THE END RESULT
If you have taken this “Quick Test”, been honest with your answers, and made the appropriate changes, you will be on your way to having a much happier spouse, greatly improving your marriage, and more peace in your home.
In our next post, we will present 12 Communication Guidelines for a successful marriage.
End Of Post
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