1.
Be A Ready Listener And Do Not Respond Until Your Spouse Has
Finished Talking.
2.
Check For Understanding.
If
you do not fully understand what your spouse has said, repeat back to
him/her what you think he/she said and ask them to clarify their
statement.
3.
Be Slow To Speak. Think First. Don’t Be Hasty In Your Answers.
Speak In Such A Way That Your Spouse Can Understand And Accept What
You Say.
Proverbs
15:23 (NIV) says
“A
person finds joy in giving an apt reply—and how good is a timely
word!”
Proverbs
15:28 (NIV) says
“The
heart of the righteous weighs its answers, but the mouth of the
wicked gushes evil.”
Proverbs
21:23 (NIV) says
“Those
who guard their mouths and their tongues keep themselves from
calamity.”
Proverbs
29:20 (NIV) says
“Do
you see someone who speaks in haste? There is more hope for a fool
than for them.”
James
1:19 (NIV) says
“My
dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be
quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”
4.
Speak The Truth Always But Do It In Love. Do Not Exaggerate.
Ephesians
4:15 (NIV) says
“Instead,
speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect
the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
Ephesians
4:25 (NIV) says
“Therefore
each of you must put off falsehood and speak truthfully to your
neighbor, for we are all members of one body.”
Colossians
3:9 (NIV) says
“Do
not lie to each other, since you have taken off your old self with
its practices.”
5.
Do Not Use Silence To Frustrate Your Spouse. Explain Why You Are
Hesitant To Talk At This Time.
Being
silent is not always bad. You may want to be silent to keep from
saying something that you shouldn’t and later, would regret.
6.
Do Not Become Involved In Quarrels. It Is Possible To Disagree
Without Quarreling.
Proverbs
17:14 (NIV) says
“Starting
a quarrel is like breaching a dam; so drop the matter before a
dispute breaks out.”
Proverbs
20:3 (NIV) says
“It
is to one’s honor to avoid strife, but every fool is quick to
quarrel.”
7.
Do Not Respond In Anger. Use A Soft And Kind Response.
Proverbs
14:29 (NIV) says
“Whoever
is patient has great understanding, but one who is quick-tempered
displays folly.”
Proverbs
25:15 (NIV) says
“Through
patience a ruler can be persuaded, and a gentle tongue can break a
bone.”
Ephesians
4:26 (NIV) says
“In
your anger do not sin. Do not let the sun go down while you are
still angry.”
Ephesians
4:31 (NIV) says
“Get
rid of all bitterness, rage and anger, brawling and slander, along
with every form of malice.”
8.
When You Are Wrong, Admit It And Ask For Forgiveness.
James
5:16 (NIV) says
“Therefore
confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you
may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and
effective.”
9.
Avoid Nagging.
Proverbs
10:19 (NIV) says
“Sin
is not ended by multiplying words, but the prudent hold their
tongues.”
Proverbs
17:9 (NIV) says
“Whoever
would foster love covers over an offense, but whoever repeats the
matter separates close friends.”
Proverbs
20:5 (NIV) says
“The
purposes of a person’s heart are deep waters, but one who has
insight draws them out.”
10.
Do Not Blame Or Criticize Your Spouse But Restore Them, Encourage Them And Edify Them.
Galatians
6:1 (NIV) says
“Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live
by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch
yourselves, or you also may be tempted.”
1
Thessalonians 5:11 (NIV) says
“Therefore
encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you
are doing.”
11.
Try To Understand Your Spouse's Opinion. Make Allowances For Differences. Be Concerned About Their Interests.
Philippians
2:1-4 (NIV) says
“Therefore if you have any encouragement from being united with
Christ, if any comfort from his love, if any common sharing in the
Spirit, if any tenderness and compassion, then make my joy complete
by being like-minded, having the same love, being one in spirit and
of one mind. Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit.
Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to
your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others.”
Ephesians
4:2 (NIV) says
“Be
completely humble and gentle; be patient, bearing with one another in
love.”
12.
Avoid Bringing Up Past Offenses, Mistakes Or Sins That Are Not
Relevant To The Current Issue.
A
good, clean, respectful, focused disagreement can do wonders for your
marriage by helping you solve
problems, understand each other, get through difficult situations,
and become aware of your own individual shortcomings and blind spots.
Grossly
over/under-stating or distorting the issue can
be toxic and very damaging to your marriage!
If
You Are Faithful In Following These Communication Guidelines, You Can
Expect To Have A Long, Successful And Very Rewarding Marriage.
End
Of Post
PLEASE SHARE
If
this post has been a blessing or beneficial in any way, we would
appreciate your sharing it with others. Thanks and
God Bless.