Learn 5 Keys For Successfully Resolving Conflicts.


By: Bill and Teddy Rogers

All of us have had or, if we live long enough, will have conflicts in our personal relationships. How we handle and resolve these conflicts is very important.

James 1:19 saysMy dear brothers and sisters, take note of this: Everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry.”

Here are 5 keys needed to successfully resolve most of your conflicts.

KEY # 1: BE QUICK TO LISTEN

When we listen, we encourage the other person to talk. Listening also helps us to understand the other person and where they are coming from.

Many of us do not really listen like we should because we are defensive, we assume we already know what they are going to say next, or we're thinking about what we're going to say back to them.

During A Conflict, Here Is What You Should Do:

  • Listen not merely with your ears, but observe and listen with your eyes;
  • Focus on what the other person is saying, not what you are thinking;
  • Consider the meaning behind the words without jumping to conclusions.

Note: If you are not sure what you think they said, replay their statement back to them.


KEY # 2: BE SLOW TO SPEAK

God gave us two ears and one mouth. This may mean that we are to listen more and speak a whole lot less.

Here Are 4 Scriptures That Tell Us To Limit What We Say During A Conflict.

Proverbs 10:19 says “In the multitude of words sin is not lacking, but he who restrains his lips is wise.”

Proverbs 17:27 says “He who has knowledge spares his words, and a man of understanding is of a calm spirit.”

Proverbs 21:23 says “Whoever guards his mouth and tongue keeps his soul from troubles.”

Ecclesiastes 5:3 says “For a dream comes through much activity, and a fool’s voice is known by his many words.”

KEY # 3: BE SLOW TO BECOME ANGRY

Ecclesiastes 7:9 says “Do not hasten in your spirit to be angry, for anger rests in the bosom of fools.”

Proverbs 16:32 says “He who is slow to anger is better than the mighty, and he who rules his spirit than he who takes a city.”

Ephesians 4:26 says “Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath.”

Proverbs 29:22 says “An angry man stirs up strife, and a furious man abounds in transgression.”

Remember, words spoken in anger are very difficult if not impossible to retract. Keep your words soft and sweet, you may have to eat them!

KEY # 4: BE LOVING AND KIND

1 Corinthians 13:4-7 says “Love suffers long and is kind; love does not envy; love does not parade itself, is not puffed up; does not behave rudely, does not seek its own, is not provoked, thinks no evil; does not rejoice in iniquity, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.”

You will never resolve any conflict by playing destructive games. Please don't ever do the following:

  • Blame the other person;
  • Think you know everything about the other person;
  • Insist that every detail be correct;
  • Rule by force – verbal or physical;
  • Compare the other person to someone else;
  • Act superior or “holier than thou”;
  • Bring up past conflicts that have nothing do do with the current conflict.

Key # 5: ATTEMPT TO SET THE

 STAGE BEFORE YOUR CONFLICT

  • Never have your conflict before eating a meal, going to church or a social event;
  • Never have your conflict when you or the other person are angry;
  • Have it in the right place when only the participants are involved ( never in front of children );
  • Stay in control of your tone of voice.

Obviously, there are exceptions to the above, but if you use these 5 Keys and use them wisely, you should be able to successfully resolve most of your conflicts.

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What Does The Holy Spirit Do
For The Born Again Believer?


 
The Holy Spirit possesses a dynamite-like power that works within a believer to blast out anything that is unlike God.

The Holy Spirit uses His power to break us so that He might transform our life. The more we get self out of the way and yield our will to His, the more He is able to pour Himself out through us to others, and the more He is able to transform our lives. We are merely the conduits, the channels through which God's power moves.

If we are open and receptive to the Holy Spirit, the following is what He can do for and through us:

  • He Intercedes On Our Behalf, Helps Us In Our Weaknesses, And Teaches Us How To Pray.

Romans 8:26-27 (NIV) says In the same way, the Spirit helps us in our weakness. We do not know what we ought to pray for, but the Spirit himself intercedes for us through wordless groans. And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”

  • He Searches Our Hearts.

Romans 8:27 (NIV) says And he who searches our hearts knows the mind of the Spirit, because the Spirit intercedes for God’s people in accordance with the will of God.”

  • He Talks To And Through Us.

Matthew 10:20 (NIV) says for it will not be you speaking, but the Spirit of your Father speaking through you.”

  • He Teaches Us All Things, Reminds Us Of Scripture And Guides Us Into Truth.

John 14:26 (NIV) says But the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you.”

1 Corinthians 2:10-11 (NIV) says these are the things God has revealed to us by his Spirit. The Spirit searches all things, even the deep things of God. For who knows a person’s thoughts except their own spirit within them? In the same way no one knows the thoughts of God except the Spirit of God.”

  • He Transforms Us Into A New Creation.

2 Corinthians 5:17 (NIV) says Therefore, if anyone is in Christ, the new creation has come: The old has gone, the new is here!”

  • He Gives Us His Fruit.

Galatians 5:22-23 (NIV) says But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. Against such things there is no law.”

  • He Gives Us Gifts For Ministry.

1 Corinthians 12:4-7 (NIV) says There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit distributes them. There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. There are different kinds of working, but in all of them and in everyone it is the same God at work. Now to each one the manifestation of the Spirit is given for the common good.”

  • He Gives Us Power To Live Godly Lives.

We may look the same on the outside, but inside we are a new creation, we are born again, with the Holy Spirit and His power.

Ephesians 1:18-20 (NIV) says I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people, and his incomparably great power for us who believe. That power is the same as the mighty strength he exerted when he raised Christ from the dead and seated him at his right hand in the heavenly realms.”

Ephesians 3:16 (NIV) says I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being.”

Ephesians 3:20 (NIV) says Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.”

We can apply the benefits and power of the Spirit in our own lives, understanding what the Spirit does in our life.

  • He Gives Us Boldness To Witness.

Acts 1:8 (NIV) says “But you will receive power when the Holy Spirit comes on you; and you will be my witnesses in Jerusalem, and in all Judea and Samaria, and to the ends of the earth.”

Acts 4:29 (NIV) says Now, Lord, consider their threats and enable your servants to speak your word with great boldness.”

Acts 4:31 (NIV) says After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly.”

NOTE: The salvation of souls is a supernatural work only made possible by the Holy Spirit’s power at work in the world.

  • He Gives Us Wisdom And Revelation.

Ephesians 1:17-18 (NIV) says I keep asking that the God of our Lord Jesus Christ, the glorious Father, may give you the Spirit of wisdom and revelation, so that you may know him better. I pray that the eyes of your heart may be enlightened in order that you may know the hope to which he has called you, the riches of his glorious inheritance in his holy people.”

IMPORTANT NOTE: For many of us, the potential which dwells within us, is never realized because we will not take God at His word.

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Symbols Of The Holy Spirit.



The work of the Holy Spirit in the believer is directly related to every reality of the believer’s experience. The believer’s sanctification, spiritual understanding, assurance, service, prayer, and worship all spring from the work of the Holy Spirit within.

Below Are 5 Scriptures That Give A Basic Understanding Of How The Holy Spirit Works In The Life Of A Believer.

John 14:26-27 (KJV) says But the Comforter, which is the Holy Ghost, whom the Father will send in my name, he shall teach you all things, and bring all things to your remembrance, whatsoever I have said unto you. Peace I leave with you, my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, give I unto you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

John 16:8 (KJV) says And when he is come, he will reprove the world of sin, and of righteousness, and of judgment:”

Romans 8:26 (KJV) says Likewise the Spirit also helpeth our infirmities: for we know not what we should pray for as we ought: but the Spirit itself maketh intercession for us with groanings which cannot be uttered.”

Ephesians 5:18 (KJV) And be not drunk with wine, wherein is excess; but be filled with the Spirit;”

Galatians 5:22-23 (KJV) says But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, longsuffering, gentleness, goodness, faith, meekness, temperance: against such there is no law.”

The Following Are The Symbols And A Few Of The Scriptures Used In The Bible That Represent The Holy Spirit.

1. DOVE

Matthew 3:16 (KJV) says And Jesus, when he was baptized, went up straightway out of the water: and, lo, the heavens were opened unto him, and he saw the Spirit of God descending like a dove, and lighting upon him.”

2. FIRE

Exodus 3:2 (KJV) says And the angel of the Lord appeared unto him in a flame of fire out of the midst of a bush: and he looked, and, behold, the bush burned with fire, and the bush was not consumed.”

Acts 2:3 (KJV) says And there appeared unto them cloven tongues like as of fire, and it sat upon each of them.”

3. WIND

Acts 2:2 (KJV) says And suddenly there came a sound from heaven as of a rushing mighty wind, and it filled all the house where they were sitting.”

4. OIL

Psalm 45:7 (KJV) says Thou lovest righteousness, and hatest wickedness: therefore God, thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.”

Acts 10:38 (KJV) saysHow God anointed Jesus of Nazareth with the Holy Ghost and with power: who went about doing good, and healing all that were oppressed of the devil; for God was with him.”

Hebrews 1:9 (KJV) says Thou hast loved righteousness, and hated iniquity; therefore God, even thy God, hath anointed thee with the oil of gladness above thy fellows.”

5. WATER

John 4:14 (KJV) says But whosoever drinketh of the water that I shall give him shall never thirst; but the water that I shall give him shall be in him a well of water springing up into everlasting life.”

John 7:37-39 (KJV) says In the last day, that great day of the feast, Jesus stood and cried, saying, If any man thirst, let him come unto me, and drink. He that believeth on me, as the scripture hath said, out of his belly shall flow rivers of living water. But this spake he of the Spirit, which they that believe on him should receive: for the Holy Ghost was not yet given; because that Jesus was not yet glorified.”

6. A SEAL

John 6:27 (KJV) says Labour not for the meat which perisheth, but for that meat which endureth unto everlasting life, which the Son of man shall give unto you: for him hath God the Father sealed.”

2 Corinthians 1:22 (KJV) says Who hath also sealed us, and given the earnest of the Spirit in our hearts.”

Ephesians 1:13 (KJV) says In whom ye also trusted, after that ye heard the word of truth, the gospel of your salvation: in whom also after that ye believed, ye were sealed with that holy Spirit of promise,”

Ephesians 4:30 (KJV) says And grieve not the holy Spirit of God, whereby ye are sealed unto the day of redemption.”

7. A VOICE

Isaiah 30:21 (KJV) says And thine ears shall hear a word behind thee, saying, This is the way, walk ye in it, when ye turn to the right hand, and when ye turn to the left.”

Matthew 10:20 (KJV) says For it is not ye that speak, but the Spirit of your Father which speaketh in you.”

John 16:13 (KJV) says Howbeit when he, the Spirit of truth, is come, he will guide you into all truth: for he shall not speak of himself; but whatsoever he shall hear, that shall he speak: and he will shew you things to come.”

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Joy Versus Happiness.



Joy is internal and independent of circumstances. It is an act of the will that produces inner contentment and is consistent and eternal.

Happiness is external and depends on circumstances. It is an emotional response and is inconsistent and temporary.

Nehemiah 8:10 (NIV) says Nehemiah said, ‘Go and enjoy choice food and sweet drinks, and send some to those who have nothing prepared. This day is holy to our Lord. Do not grieve, for the joy of the Lord is your strength.’”

The Lord’s relationship with you gives Him great joy. His joy on the inside of you will give you strength and encouragement.

Psalm 4:7 (NIV) says Fill my heart with joy when their grain and new wine abound.”

Two kinds of joy are expressed here. Inward joy that comes from knowing and trusting God and happiness that comes as a result of pleasant circumstances. Inward joy is steady as long as we trust God, happiness is unpredictable. Inward joy defeats discouragement, happiness covers it up. Inward joy is lasting, happiness is temporary.

Psalm 16:9 (NIV) says Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body also will rest secure,”

David’s heart was glad...he had found the secret of joy. True joy is far deeper than happiness; we can feel joy in spite of our deepest troubles. Happiness is temporary because it is based on external circumstances, but joy is lasting because it is based on God’s presence within us.

As we contemplate God’s daily presence, we will find contentment. As we understand the future He has for us, we will experience joy.

John 17:13 (NIV) says “I am coming to you now, but I say these things while I am still in the world, so that they may have the full measure of my joy within them.”

John 15:11 (NIV) says I have told you this so that my joy may be in you and that your joy may be complete.”

John 16:24 (NIV) says Until now you have not asked for anything in my name. Ask and you will receive, and your joy will be complete.”

Joy is a common theme in Christ’s teachings...He wants us to be joyful. The key to immeasurable joy is having an intimate relationship with Jesus Christ, the source of all joy. When we do, we will experience God’s special care and protection and see the victory God brings even when defeat seems inevitable.

Don’t base your life depending on circumstances...put all your faith and trust in God and you will experience much joy.

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6 Ways To Pray For Other Christians.



1. Be Thankful For Their Faith And Changed Lives.

Colossians 1:3 (NIV) says “We always thank God, the Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, when we pray for you.”

2. Ask God To Help Them Know What He Wants Them To Do And To Give Them Deep Spiritual Understanding.

Colossians 1:9 (NIV) says “For this reason, since the day we heard about you, we have not stopped praying for you. We continually ask God to fill you with the knowledge of his will through all the wisdom and understanding that the Spirit gives.”

3. Ask God To Help Them Live For Him And To Give Them More Knowledge Of Himself.

Colossians 1:10 (NIV) says “so that you may live a life worthy of the Lord and please Him in every way: bearing fruit in every good work, growing in the knowledge of God.”

4. Ask God To Give Them Strength So They May Have Endurance And Patience.

Colossians 1:11 (NIV) says “being strengthened with all power according to His glorious might so that you may have great endurance and patience.”

5. Ask God To Fill Them With Joy And Thankfulness.

Colossians 1:12 (NIV) says “and giving joyful thanks to the Father, who has qualified you to share in the inheritance of His holy people in the kingdom of light.”

6. Thank God For Rescuing Them From A Rebel Kingdom To Serve The Rightful King.

Colossians 1:13-14 (NIV) says “For he has rescued us from the dominion of darkness and brought us into the kingdom of the Son he loves, in whom we have redemption, the forgiveness of sins.”

NOTE: If You Have Family Members Who Are Not Saved…..
Ask God to send laborers across their path to tell them about Jesus.

Acts 11:14 (KJV) says Who shall tell thee words, whereby thou and all thy house shall be saved.”

Proverbs 11:21 (KJV) says Though hand join in hand, the wicked shall not be unpunished: but the seed of the righteous shall be delivered.”

Continue to pray and thank God for these promises.

FINALLY - ASK YOURSELF THIS QUESTION: How many people in your life could be touched if you prayed for them in this way? Don’t procrastinate. Make a list and start praying for them today.

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How To Get Your Prayers Answered.



Have You Ever Wondered, "Why Doesn't God Answer My Prayers?"

Remember, prayer is simply talking to God. God wants to be our friend and He wants us to feel comfortable talking to Him.

BUT MAKE NO MISTAKE. You have no reason to expect real answers to your prayers unless you pray to the one true God and ask according to His will.

1 Corinthians 8:5-6 (NIV) saysFor even if there are so-called gods, whether in heaven or on earth (as indeed there are many “gods” and many “lords”), yet for us there is but one God, the Father, from whom all things came and for whom we live; and there is but one Lord, Jesus Christ, through whom all things came and through whom we live.”

1. Have Faith In God.

Hebrews 11:6 (NIV) says And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.”

James 1:6-7 (NIV) says But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.”

2. Confess Your Sins And Ask God To Forgive You.

1 John 1:9 (NIV) says If we confess our sins, he is faithful and just and will forgive us our sins and purify us from all unrighteousness.”

NOTE: Sins weigh you down and keep you from hearing from God!

IMPORTANT: Salvation is the free gift of God through Jesus Christ. Eternal life, deliverance from death and condemnation, cannot be purchased for any earthly sum, but it is yours for the asking, completely free of any charge.

This is because Jesus Christ has already paid for you, for all of us, by His death on the cross in our place. By His sacrifice, He ransomed us, paying the price for all the sins we would ever commit, and thus opening up the door to eternal life.

If you have not already received Jesus Christ as your Savior and would like to, simply say this prayer, mean it from your heart and believe it.

"Lord Jesus, for too long I’ve kept you out of my life. I know that I am a sinner and that I cannot save myself. No longer will I close the door when I hear you knocking. By faith I gratefully receive your gift of salvation. I am ready to trust you as my Lord and Savior. Thank you, Lord Jesus, for coming to earth. I believe you are the Son of God who died on the cross for my sins and rose from the dead on the third day. Thank you for bearing my sins and giving me the gift of eternal life. I believe your words are true. Come into my heart, Lord Jesus, and be my Savior. Amen."

3. Repent Of Your Sins.

Revelation 3:19 (NIV) says Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline. So be earnest and repent.”

NOTE: Repent means to feel so sorry for your sin or fault that you change your ways and stop doing it.

4. Forgive Others.

Matthew 6:15 (NIV) says But if you do not forgive others their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins.”

5. Study The Bible So You Will Know God’s Word.

2 Timothy 2:15 (NIV) says Do your best to present yourself to God as one approved, a worker who does not need to be ashamed and who correctly handles the word of truth.”

6. Pray God’s Word

The following are two examples of how to pray God’s Word:

Joshua 1:9 (NIV) says “Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged, for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”

Example # 1: Thank You, Father for being with me wherever I go. I will be strong, brave, and encouraged. I will not be afraid or dismayed. I will pray, and go, and do Your will. I thank You, In The Name Of Jesus. Amen.

John 14:27 (NIV) saysPeace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.”

Example # 2: Thank You, Father, for the peace that You give. I accept this peace, so my heart will not be troubled with the affairs of this world. I thank You, In the Name of Jesus. Amen.

7. Ask According To God’s Will.

1 John 5:14-15 (NIV) says This is the confidence we have in approaching God: that if we ask anything according to his will, he hears us. And if we know that he hears us—whatever we ask—we know that we have what we asked of him.”

8. Pray To The Father In The Name Of Jesus.

John 14:10-14 (NIV) says Don’t you believe that I am in the Father, and that the Father is in me? The words I say to you I do not speak on my own authority. Rather, it is the Father, living in me, who is doing his work. Believe me when I say that I am in the Father and the Father is in me; or at least believe on the evidence of the works themselves. Very truly I tell you, whoever believes in me will do the works I have been doing, and they will do even greater things than these, because I am going to the Father. And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Father may be glorified in the Son. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it.”

9. Believe That You Receive When You Pray.

Matthew 21:22 (NIV) says If you believe, you will receive whatever you ask for in prayer.”

Mark 11:24 (NIV) says Therefore I tell you, whatever you ask for in prayer, believe that you have received it, and it will be yours.”

10. Thank God For The Answer.

Philippians 4:6 (NIV) says Do not be anxious about anything, but in every situation, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God.”

IMPORTANT: After you have prayed and asked God, verbally confess and believe that whatever you have asked God for is now yours and thank God for it. But, don’t just confess it once. Continue to thank God for what you have asked for until you receive it.

11. Be Patient And Don’t Waver.

James 1:6-7 (NIV) says “But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That person should not expect to receive anything from the Lord.”

Hebrews 10:23 (NIV) says Let us hold unswervingly to the hope we profess, for he who promised is faithful.”

Hebrews 10:35-37 (NIV) says So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to persevere so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised. For, ‘In just a little while, He who is coming will come and will not delay.’”

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