Today,
my husband and I are celebrating our 15-year wedding anniversary. By
the title of this post, you may think, “celebrating?!” Yes!
Fifteen
years ago, we were young, naive dreamers. We were just so cute, and
so dumb! We thought marriage would be easy and we would remain each
other’s best friend through it all, side by side.
Yeah,
that lasted for like a week after the honeymoon, and then reality set
in!
This
marriage thing is hard. It is a lot of work! We got hitched, had
two awesome kids, went through about 8 job layoffs for Dave and
several moves between Florida and Indiana.
Our
marriage has had more ups and downs than your typical roller coaster.
Like most marriages, around that 7-year mark, we hit a fork in the
road. I remembering looking around one day and thinking, “This is
it?” “This isn’t what I signed up for!”
Where
was my Prince Charming? My knight in shining armor? Instead I had a
guy I felt I barely knew anymore and rarely saw, who was overworked,
stressed out, and stressing me out!
I
had two young children who demanded my attention, and I could no
longer see “me” in all of this. I missed the old me. The
unstressed me, who laughed and liked to have fun. I had become a
worn out and frustrated lady who didn’t recognize my life anymore.
In
the blink of an eye, I had gone from a single energetic professional
to a married work-at-home, stay-at-home mother of two, and I was just
plain exhausted.
So,
why do we do it? Why do we get married? Are we just doomed for
failure right out of the gate? No, we aren’t! The key, the
absolute essential key to making it all work, and what saved our
marriage is that God has got to be in the center. You must allow Him
to work in your marriage, and it can and will be amazing!
Some
circumstances warrant divorce (i.e. abuse, etc.) but if it’s
possible, don’t be a statistic. I am a child of divorce, and at 42
years old I can tell you that I still wish my parents had stayed
married.
I
would love to have had the stability of both of my parents remaining
a cohesive unit and for them to come visit their grandchildren
together, but that will never be the reality and I’m still sad
about it 26 years later.
I
know we tell ourselves, “Oh, the kids will be fine,” but in my
opinion we just say that to make ourselves feel better. On the
inside, all kids want the stability of their parents staying together
if it’s possible.
We
say that God is our Father in Heaven. As such, He wants what all
fathers want. He wants us to find our other half, to marry that
person and to have happiness.
We
are the issue in all of this, man and our greed and lust. Put Christ
in the center of your marriage, and it will thrive. My marriage is
proof of this! I walked into marriage counseling 5 years ago with my
husband with my arms crossed and sat on the other side of the room.
I was done; no way was I budging – this marriage was over.
Then
it happened, Christ put Himself where Dave and I should have had him
all along, smack dab in the center.
If
your marriage is struggling, get help. Go see a counselor, see a
pastor, see a few if you need to in order to get the help you need.
Regardless of the status of your marriage, good, bad, ugly, put
Christ in the center and keep Him there.
I
am proud to be celebrating 15 years of marriage to my husband, and I
can honestly say I love my life. If you are married and are at that
fork in the road, pray. Put God in the middle and let Him work in
you and your marriage. Don’t walk away without a fight.
Don’t
mistake what I’m saying – our marriage is not perfect, there’s
no such thing, but it is worth fighting for, and I’m so thankful
God helped us both realize this before it was too late.
And
Dave, if you read this, Happy Anniversary! Since I am out of town,
this is my anniversary gift to you so that you know I’m thinking of
you and I love you. I may not be the most outwardly expressive
person with my emotions but I’m proud of us and I love the life we
have built together, thanks to God!
Is
Christ in the center of your marriage? If not, are you willing to
put Him there?
“Therefore
what God has joined together, let no one separate.”- Mark 10:9
Love
this song and truly believe it! If you or someone you know is
struggling in their marriage, give it a listen! “We’ve got the
Power of CHRIST on our side!” Chris August – Restore
Photo
creds to awesome Julie Montgomery of Stinky Feet Photography!
End
Of Post