I Didn’t Sign Up For This!

NOTE: This is a Guest Post used with permission from Denise Rezsonya at http://denisemrezsonya.com.


Today, my husband and I are celebrating our 15-year wedding anniversary. By the title of this post, you may think, “celebrating?!” Yes!

Fifteen years ago, we were young, naive dreamers. We were just so cute, and so dumb! We thought marriage would be easy and we would remain each other’s best friend through it all, side by side.

Yeah, that lasted for like a week after the honeymoon, and then reality set in!

This marriage thing is hard. It is a lot of work! We got hitched, had two awesome kids, went through about 8 job layoffs for Dave and several moves between Florida and Indiana.

Our marriage has had more ups and downs than your typical roller coaster. Like most marriages, around that 7-year mark, we hit a fork in the road. I remembering looking around one day and thinking, “This is it?” “This isn’t what I signed up for!”

Where was my Prince Charming? My knight in shining armor? Instead I had a guy I felt I barely knew anymore and rarely saw, who was overworked, stressed out, and stressing me out!

I had two young children who demanded my attention, and I could no longer see “me” in all of this. I missed the old me. The unstressed me, who laughed and liked to have fun. I had become a worn out and frustrated lady who didn’t recognize my life anymore.

In the blink of an eye, I had gone from a single energetic professional to a married work-at-home, stay-at-home mother of two, and I was just plain exhausted.

So, why do we do it? Why do we get married? Are we just doomed for failure right out of the gate? No, we aren’t! The key, the absolute essential key to making it all work, and what saved our marriage is that God has got to be in the center. You must allow Him to work in your marriage, and it can and will be amazing!

Some circumstances warrant divorce (i.e. abuse, etc.) but if it’s possible, don’t be a statistic. I am a child of divorce, and at 42 years old I can tell you that I still wish my parents had stayed married.

I would love to have had the stability of both of my parents remaining a cohesive unit and for them to come visit their grandchildren together, but that will never be the reality and I’m still sad about it 26 years later.

I know we tell ourselves, “Oh, the kids will be fine,” but in my opinion we just say that to make ourselves feel better. On the inside, all kids want the stability of their parents staying together if it’s possible.

We say that God is our Father in Heaven. As such, He wants what all fathers want. He wants us to find our other half, to marry that person and to have happiness.

We are the issue in all of this, man and our greed and lust. Put Christ in the center of your marriage, and it will thrive. My marriage is proof of this! I walked into marriage counseling 5 years ago with my husband with my arms crossed and sat on the other side of the room. I was done; no way was I budging – this marriage was over.

Then it happened, Christ put Himself where Dave and I should have had him all along, smack dab in the center.

If your marriage is struggling, get help. Go see a counselor, see a pastor, see a few if you need to in order to get the help you need. Regardless of the status of your marriage, good, bad, ugly, put Christ in the center and keep Him there.

I am proud to be celebrating 15 years of marriage to my husband, and I can honestly say I love my life. If you are married and are at that fork in the road, pray. Put God in the middle and let Him work in you and your marriage. Don’t walk away without a fight.

Don’t mistake what I’m saying – our marriage is not perfect, there’s no such thing, but it is worth fighting for, and I’m so thankful God helped us both realize this before it was too late.

And Dave, if you read this, Happy Anniversary! Since I am out of town, this is my anniversary gift to you so that you know I’m thinking of you and I love you. I may not be the most outwardly expressive person with my emotions but I’m proud of us and I love the life we have built together, thanks to God!

Is Christ in the center of your marriage? If not, are you willing to put Him there?

Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.”- Mark 10:9

Love this song and truly believe it! If you or someone you know is struggling in their marriage, give it a listen! “We’ve got the Power of CHRIST on our side!” Chris August – Restore


Photo creds to awesome Julie Montgomery of Stinky Feet Photography!

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